Waiting for Forever

“The older I get, the more convinced I am, that, God does know what He’s doing. He loves us with an everlasting love and He wants us to trust Him”- Elisabeth Elliot
Truth is, the feeling of anxiety and fear creeps in every once in a while. Actually, a whole lot more than ‘every once in a while.’ It’s always something; some thought of what’s next in life, which career, which major,  who we’re going to end up with?!
I have been reading Elisabeth’s Elliot’s Passion and Purity (I literally am so much in love with the book!) and I keep saying to myself, ‘finally i know I’m not the only one who has had this feeling of waiting for forever!’
I ask myself, ‘really, what was the rush?!’ You’re single, you hate it, you ask God to bring you someone. However, according to your standards, He ‘delays’, you go right ahead and find yourself one, ….. my question is…
True happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment is really not found in rushing your way through life or in a relationship. Sadly, we discover that when we have gone ahead of ourselves and we’re at a standstill. We are so desperate for a relationship like it would curb world hunger, or it would provide shelter for the homeless.
‘As a waiter waits–not for but ON the customer–alert, watchful, attentive, with no agenda of his own, ready to do whatever is wanted’, so should we learn to wait on The Lord.
What God wanted us to do in our season of singleness is to channel our energy into Him, to be at His service, which would include praying into the future with His words concerning our lives in mind. Those words are supposed to quiet our anxious thoughts and make us REST in the knowledge of the excellence of the works of the Father. Once upon a time, my philosophy was, ‘Prophecies received. Can you bring the human being along so we can get this show started?’
The journey to wholly and completely trusting God in this area of my life was never(and still is not) smooth sailing! I would go to God in prayer and ask to please at least see him in my dreams if i can’t meet him in person! I honestly believe heaven has had a good laugh over my case!
What ever happened to resting in the assurance that this God, the One whose words are YES and AMEN, whose words never go back to Him without accomplishing the purpose for which He spoke them, is faithful and He will do exactly what He has said ?
‘Know therefore that the Lord thy God, He is God, The Faithful God…’
In the words of T.C Upham; ‘To leave the dearest objects of our hearts in the sublime keeping of the general and unspecific belief that God is answering our prayers in His own time and way, and in the best manner, involves a process of inward crucifixion which is obviously unfavourable to the growth and even the existence of the life of self.’
I stopped worrying, and fretting over who I would end up with when I realized that He was preparing me for who He was preparing for me. I was (and I still am being) schooled in the area of trusting God!
‘When the will of God crosses the will of man,somebody has to die’.  The will that has to die is always OURS! Put the two parties on the table, the party that has absolutely no idea how to figure things out on their own, is US!
When you find yourself in the season of singleness, savor it, enjoy it, ask God,’ what am I to do?’
Elisabeth Elliot puts it perfectly when she says;
‘Our heavenly Father knows how to place us where we may learn lessons impossible anywhere else. He has neither misplaced nor displaced us.’ (I LOVE THE WOMAN! )
You’re not single because God has forgotten about you! Because God is ‘teaching you a lesson’ by withholding ‘happiness’ from you.
Don’t be so occupied with helping God do His work in bringing you who He desires for you to have by giving Him suggestions; The “yes,Lord! I’ll take this one ” type of attitude.  No!
 ‘I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…’
We are in no race with anyone, especially when it comes to Love.
I have had my friends make fun of me talking about how I would grow old ‘waiting for forever’. There were times when I actually began to doubt myself. Asking questions like ‘does God want me single forever?’
‘If I don’t put myself out there, how will someone find me?’
There’s a whole lot of anxiety and clouded feelings that comes with finding ‘the one’.
That’s because we seem to think that there’s a completion of our joy that only comes to light when we date. If you’re not dating, you’re lacking something. So we go fishing, find ourselves a little boyfriend here and there, and conclude with the ‘I just can’t help it’ mantra.
“Choices will continually be necessary and — let us not forget — possible. Obedience to God is always possible. It is a deadly error to fall into the notion that when feelings are extremely strong we can do nothing but act on them.”
The Bible says ‘seek ye FIRST! the Kingdom of God, and ALL OTHER THINGS WILL BE GRANTED UNTO YOU’. The relationship you so much desire, is a part of the ‘other things’ according to His will!

In our singleness, God is teaching us to find complete satisfaction in Him. If we don’t learn to do that, we burden the men (and women) that come into our lives with the task of providing some satisfaction that they really can’t give to us no matter what. Because it simply isn’t theirs to give.

I learnt (trained myself) to say silent prayers in my heart, when my mind clearly thought otherwise;
‘If a relationship isn’t for me now, Lord you’re going to have to suffice! And when the time is right, it has to be for Your glory.’ My mind reminded me of my ‘need’ for a relationship. I want all the cute moments too! I deserve it. My spirit assured, ‘God knows what He’s doing. ‘
Don’t hate the wait.
‘But He knows the way I take; When He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold..’
I’m a little (a lot more, to be exact) drastic in my actions! I found myself at a point where I was ready to cling to God and make Him my all in all. How was I to do that when I had a whole bunch of all these ‘cute’ songs on my phone and laptop, listening to them, day dreaming about someone singing them to me, stirring up emotions in me that I had no business awakening. Watching shows on YouTube, singling out my favorite cute couple, always stuck on them watching them like they would give me life. I was a hot mess.( ..still am..) I had had enough and I knew I had to do away with them because my ‘longing was slaying the appetite of my living’ for Jesus. I was listening to these songs and watching these movies more than I was talking to God or reading my Bible. I had misplaced priorities to say the least!
Like I said, I happen to be a bit drastic. I just went ahead and deleted all those bunch of  ‘cute’ songs, replaced them with gospel. I could clearly use a lot more Jesus.  I gave up on movies completely.  Lol.(I’m not saying movies are bad; I’m just a lot more drastic in dealing with myself)
It was just a stern conversation of ‘you gotta go because you mess up my mind.’ conversation with myself.
 I am currently regaining the desired attention span to be able to watch movies. (LOL)
‘But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently…’
Patiently because our expectation is from Him (Psalm 62:5). Confidently because, the God who has promised us is faithful and He will do it for His name’s sake. Our security, our trust, our confidence should be found in Him, and Him alone.
By doing the opposite, we do ourselves a disservice, we lose. Because “a spirit of restlessness and resistance can never wait, but one who believes he is loved with an everlasting love, and knows that underneath are the everlasting arms, will find strength and peace.”
The point cannot be belabored. Don’t hate the wait!

A hymn by George West Frazer that I now happen to love so much says;

HAVE I an object, Lord, below,
Which would divide my heart from Thee;
Which would divert its even flow
In answer to Thy constancy?
Oh, teach me quickly to return,
And cause my heart afresh to burn!

 Have I a hope, however dear,
Which would defer Thy coming, Lord,
Which would detain my spirit here,
Where nought can lasting joy afford?
From it, my Saviour, set me free
To look and long and wait for Thee.

Be Thou the object bright and fair
To fill and satisfy the heart;
My hope to meet Thee in the air,
And nevermore from Thee to part;
That I may undistracted be
To follow, serve, and wait for Thee.

“Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living”

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