Trust in retrospect

Now Playing; How He loves us- David Crowder Band.

I’m on this huge journey with the Lord. I choose to call it the Love and Discovery Ride.(L.D.R) Discovering the Lord’s faithfulness in the most amazing ways. Experiencing a kind of love that puts me in my own world; challenges me to do things I never imagined myself doing. Sometime this week I had a little ‘silly’ idea to just quit school and go into full time ministry because I just want everyone to experience this Love. The Lord’s taught me something these past few weeks. The best way to reach souls is to talk to them about God’s love. Because then they are not ‘running’ after God with the thought of fear that they would die and burn in hell if they didn’t repent. Rather, they are moved to be different because they are ‘overwhelmed by a relentless God’ as Francis Chan puts it.

I am learning to fully rely on Him because you know, human beings, we sometimes tend to create a buffer for ourselves. You know the “what if i pray and it doesn’t work out? so you know i need to do this and that so then when God, not disappoints, but … ‘disappoints’,…” OR the ‘I’m trusting God but…’ [Anyone? I’m by myself huh?]

My personal theme that the Lord gave me this year is Trust. ‘Trust me, Nana. Trust me. I am God’ [side note – I really get mushy when someone puts Nana after something they say to me. like, ‘How are you, Nana?’, ‘Come with me, Nana.’ Not Pokuaa, not Boateng. Nana. hahahaha! cheesy, I know]

Ok. Back to business!

For some reason, it gets hard to hold on. But then again, isn’t that the whole point of trusting and ‘leaning NOT on your own understanding?’  To constantly remind yourself of the promises of God when things are not going exactly as planned is not the easiest thing to do on the planet. But thank God for His grace and mercies that are new every morning. And most of all, for the Holy Spirit who is a constant reminder of what we have and who we are in Christ Jesus.

  “….that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through the His Spirit in the inner man.”-Eph 3:16

I tell Him, ‘Lord, I love times like this when I am fully reliant on you because I have no where else to turn to, no one to talk to or hear from. It’s just You’

I’ll just tell you all a short story. More of a testimony. [I might talk too much, but it IS a SHORT STORY! ]

Before our junior year ended, everybody was talking about their internship and what office they were going to work at and what they were going to do.

Here I was. Never worked before.(well actually I have, once.) I always tell my mommy and my sisters that during the fall and spring, (when it’s the school year) i have no choice but to be Ghanaian. Summertime, however, I am ‘obroni’. lol. (don’t judge me. I love my country!)

A week or two after the semester was over, I got a little frustrated and unhappy. I felt like I didn’t know where I was going career-wise. I mean, I knew I want to be a social worker, but I wanted to KNOW if social work was the career path that the Lord has chosen for me. So I went into a prayer and fasting mode.[Not that plain sailing, really.] I’ll tell you what exactly triggered this feeling.[this is where the short story begins]

Before the semester ended, I’d asked my sister to kindly find me an internship or i could always work with my dad. Each time, she would tell me such and such and such, giving me false hope about these jobs she had supposedly found for me. (no offense if you’re reading this. lol)

So she finally took me to the office of a friend of hers who took about an hour and half of my time telling me how my Ashesi education was a waste of time and how he wished i didn’t go wasting my time with my current major, yadi-yadi-yada. I had to hold back the tears as I sat there listening to this man trash my four years of education[well three, currently]. And every time I would try to speak up, he would go ‘typical Ashesi crap that they have all learned to say.’ One thing about me, whenever I’m not given the chance to speak, or I honestly say something and I’m not believed, I just cry. I can’t relentlessly defend myself. I would cry. I’m a cornball, I know. 🙁 [More reason why I need the Holy Spirit. I just go to Him and report everybody that offends me. lol] So here I was, holding back the tears, faking smiles, listening to this man say all these mean things to me.

On our way home, I am so sure she knew I was disheartened because I was so.awfully.quiet. My sister tried to console me talking ’bout; ‘oh that’s how he is when you meet him for the first time. He’s just trying to act like a tough guy, but he’s a nice guy in reality,’  this and that and allll that! I wasn’t tryna hear it. I just wanted to get home and ask the Lord some questions! He is the one i needed to talk to. When I got home, I faked a couple of jokes with my little sister, told my mommy a refined version of what had happened and went up to my room. If ever I have doubted my education and my purpose in life, it was that day. I began to ask, ‘Lord, is it true. All that this guy said to me today? Was he being brutally honest or is he just a bitter old man filled with negativity? is this because I didn’t pray about my major? instead I just chose it?[because I wasn’t much of a christian then] Am I really wasting my time?’

There are times when I am fully in love with my major! Sometimes I challenge myself and i’m in awe of the outcome. Like; ‘did you just write this code, Nana?’ And there are times, when my mind would just tell me, ‘what are you doing, Nana? why are you even pursuing this major?’ So those negative thoughts just sunk in that day. And I mean can you blame me? after listening to this man tell me all those negative things and how everything I tried to say in my defense was ‘Ashesi crap that they had taught us to say’, can you really blame me? So I went went into prayer and fasting mode for a week because I needed some answers.

And hear me when I say, THE LORD IS CRAZY FAITHFUL! And I say it again, THE LORD IS CRAZY FAITHFUL! It brings me to tears when I talk about the faithfulness of God.

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.-Psalm 34:8  [can I please get an Amen?!]

The Lord answered my prayer! He said ‘ You are going to go into social work. And M.I.S is not a waste of your time. You have found joy in exploring I.T. The I.T lady in your family. You didn’t waste your time.’

Hearing Him say that when I did not even seek his approval before pursuing this major was beyond comforting!

‘oh how He loves us indeed!’

And guess what? I got the opportunity to work with the Department of Social welfare! A job I loved so much! I didn’t even apply for this job. I had gone to spend some time with my little kindergarten kids at the little town, where our school is located, and decided to visit my friend Abigail. She happens to work career office. We got talking and I told her how i had a shot at working at this I.T office (yes, the mean man decided to employ me) but all I really wanted to do was social work. [This was after my prayer and fasting]

So the head of the career service department, Ophelia Sam, snooped into our convo and goes; ‘Social work? Interesting!’ She invited us to her office and tells me about this opportunity to work with one other canadian lady at the Shelter for Abused Children and the Boys’ Remand Home. ‘I have a meeting with the lady so send me your CV … ‘ and you know the rest. 🙂

‘The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.’ –Psalm 16:6

Everyday, i would ask the Lord to give me the love and enthusiasm I had in me before this job and to always remind me of why i want to do this so that  I would work with joy. Needless to say, I LOVED my job! I LOVED the ladies I worked with! (Sîan, Katy, Serenity and Brittany) We got frustrated sometimes because we wanted MORE work to do!

Once again, our Lord is CRAZY faithful! What an amazing God we serve!

Little did I know that that! was a test drive on the Love and Discovery ride with the Lord.

Trusting is not the easiest thing to do. Ditto! But you know what is true? That our God is FOREVER faithful and He WILL fulfill His promises concerning you and me. In John 10:37 He says; ‘If I don’t do the works of my Father, don’t believe a thing I say.’

I’m telling you again,

Give this Jesus guy a try and remember,

Love is forever,

Nana!

2 comments On Trust in retrospect

  • God bless you sis, I always turn to Him to defend me b/c I cannot defend myself either. lol I cry when I’m asked to explain what happened. GOD IS CRAZY FAITHFUL! He answered my prayers abt my major too. I wanted to give up cuz one class was giving me a hard time, I spoke to Him and He told me, give it a try again, You are meant to help others.. I cry when i read ur post b/c I’m happy Im not the only one seeking HIM. I love you!! God bless you sis!!

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