S.O.S

I remember always asking the Holy Spirit to give me the kind of heart that He has. To feel what He feels. I didn’t know then that feeling the sadness and grief of the Holy Spirit would weigh down on me this much.

I’m not proud of myself in the least bit.My heart is so heavy and my soul full of sadness and disappointment in myself. Because i know that not everybody has this privilege to feel what Holy feels. And He didn’t honor my desire so i’d wake up every morning or go to bed every evening allowing people to take advantage of His love. So i would just like to start by saying ‘I’m sorry, Dear God.”

I can’t find any nicer or polished way of putting the following words together.

The Holy Spirit is very grieved. He is very sad. He told me, “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” And it’s honestly nothing new. It’s clearly written in the Bible; Mathew 15:8, Isaiah 29:13. I feel the most terrible about this because i feel like i did nothing about it. I was just talking to Him and He sent me to go back to my blog posts just to see how over protective i used to be over His feelings. And now i’m just living and allowing people to be of the notion that it is okay to take His grace and mercies for granted.

To be taken for granted is never fun. And we’re being selfish. We always think of ourselves, our sleep, our time spent doing the unnecessary. We are just not being considerate! And it hurts the Holy Spirit because for Him, He can’t leave us. He has to endure the hurt and still stay with us. Do you know what it means to endure? To deal with, to tolerate, to put up with, to stomach. And i wish we would understand what it means to yearn for a relationship with someone. No matter how many times we hurt Him, He can never leave us. And all He’s really saying is, please don’t hurt me this way. It’s just so honestly selfish of us to ignore those feelings and to condone those who feel like it’s okay to disrespect Him like that.

I just keep going back to these words that i put up in the God’s Grace In Evangelism post…

‘The Glory of God isn’t honored; the Holiness of God isn’t revealed; the Greatness of God isn’t admired;the Power of God isn’t praised; the Truth of God is not sought; The wisdom of God is not esteemed; the Beauty of God is not Treasured; the Goodness of God is not savored; the Faithfulness of God is not is not trusted. The Commandments of God are not obeyed;the Justice of God is not respected; the Wrath of God is not feared; the Grace of God is not cherished; the Presence of God is not priced; and Sadly enough, the Person of God is not loved. The infinite all- Glorious creator of this earth by whom and for whom all things exist, who holds EVERY person’s life in being at every moment is DISREGARDED, DISBELIEVED, DISOBEYED and DISHONORED among the people of the world.’

Taking each statement at a time makes me realize how i’m slacking in my ambassador for Christ duties.

Perfect love is waiting for you, asking you to please come to Him and you’re running after lust! Eternity is right beside you but you’re so busy searching for the superficial, the temporary. “We sacrifice deep joy for high foolishness” -Jefferson Bethke. And for those who are not running after lust, who have come to know and experience Love,who call ourselves ambassadors for Christ, ‘living for Christ and dying to make Him known’, are making it seem perfectly okay for darkness to take over light. We are not fighting for Him. We say with our lips that we are on the Lord’s side but do we show it as much?

I just have a humble plea for anybody out there reading this…

Please, please, please don’t grieve the Holy Spirit. 🙁 You and i will never know or understand how much pain Christ had to go through to lay aside His majesty so we can be saved. Messing around with His feelings and playing Him with the world, acting like ‘ooh God, you know i love you but let me just run after lust for a little bit. i’ll be back.’ Is that how we say ‘Thank you’ for such sacrificial Love? Please don’t take advantage of the One i love. He’s all i have. 🙁  I’m sorry that i have, in any way, made it seem like it was okay to disrespect Him and play around with his feelings.I’m sorry. Today, right now, with any and everyone whose ready to come with me on this journey, i’m ready to go back to being THAT soldier for Christ!

God bless You 🙂

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