Redefined

This blogpost is loooong overdue :/

I have some friends working on a website for me and I was hoping to launch my website with my next post (which is this one) BUT the guys are not doing such a good job meeting our set deadlines.(Cavemen, I hope you’re reading this)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! 4 years ago, I started blogging and it has been a wonderful, amazing learning experience. I love that I have made so many beautiful virtual friends. Every single person that reads this blog, who even visits this site for two seconds, has been, still is and will forever be my accountability partner. You challenge me to be better each day, to run after God with all I’ve got like no one’s business. So this is me saying A HUGE THANK YOU! I get a lot of messages from people telling me how they Love these messages that God sends through me, how my blog helps them to be better. (PRAISE GOD! HE gets all the Glory) Truth is, I am grateful to YOU! For challenging me to be better. Looking back,settling for less is never an option because of this platform and I do honestly thank every single one of you guys for that! xx

I am really excited about 2015!!! It’s a season of celebration! I have so much gladness, joy, satisfaction in my heart because it is the Dawn of a NEW DAY and God is WONDERFUL and PERFECT!

The scripture the Lord has given me for this year is Isaiah 43. I am totally in love with it and I really wanted some of my favorite words from that scripture on my wall. Something I can always wake up to! As you all know, I am in the business of personalizing MY space!

 

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My wall is everything to me right now; from the message, to the color, to the font, it’s just perfect! <3

I also got a keyboard!! Praise Jesus! I am extremely excited about music moments with Jesus; really really excited about how Glorious these moments are going to be!

If you follow my blog, you know that I have said 549632 times (and still counting) that,I have got a very lovely Gentleman, who IS the Perfection of God, as a Boyfriend(He isn’t flawless, please don’t get me wrong). It feels like we’ve been together for 10 years when in actual fact, we have been a Unit for 2 NICE years, come June.

I always thought  it to be so cliché when people talk about how beautiful it is to have someone come into your life and change you….until now; of course depending on what ‘change’ that this someone brought into a life.
The Bible says in Philippians 2:13 that “It is God who works in me, both to will and work for His desire.”

Through members of the Body of Christ, God is working in us. He has entrenched His Word deeply in our hearts, and we have the Holy Spirit to convict us so much so that man is only meant to confirm what The Lord is telling us. With that said, I would say(again) that, It’s purely divine how someone comes into your life and changes your entire outlook on things. I am grateful to God for how much of an unbendable standard His Word is! It’s either you apply yourself to God’s Word, or you don’t. Point blank period. There are no in-betweens. We find ourselves ‘struggling’ often times because we want a little bit of both. A little of reality TV, and then a little bit of TBN; a little bit of gospel in the morning and then some R’n’B to get us through the day; some scripture in the morning, some kind of romance novels at our ‘leisure time’. It just doesn’t work like that.

In writing our contract during the early days of our courtship, my Boyfriend stated that if one party is doing something that makes the other uncomfortable in any way, speak up! We wrote this contract on the day of our graduation, which was barely 2 weeks of being together. While people were partying it up, we were having our little cute date in some corner of a restaurant putting together terms of agreement. Right after writing that point down, he said: “so based on this, I would like to say that the dress you wore for grad showed too much cleavage for me. I wasn’t comfortable with that” (I thought my dress was just okay, you know?) Then he asked if I had anything to add.“Oh, then I would have also loved your shirt a little more fitting” (thinking to myself, ‘YA! How about THAT?!)

Now the difference between these two comments is, his comment had absolutely nothing to do with stepping up the game in the fashion department! He was clearly protecting his property and not desiring any man including himself to lust after what they couldn’t have …..

“Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.”- Proverbs 5:17

….and there I was, thinking “you could up your fashion game a little bit”

Yes, it’s extremely important for both of us to look good, but this had nothing to do with fashion. That was NOT his standpoint!

What I didn’t realize then was that God has given me a man who is going to have THE final say in what I wear. (Now when I say ‘the final say’, please don’t get me wrong and start advising me about making my Boyfriend a ‘god’ factor in my life. When he speaks concerning certain things, I know it’s from God because no matter how much I drag the issue with ‘it’s not even that serious’, I am actually convicted. It translates the Word of God to me so please let’s make that clear).

Before I break it down, let’s just fast forward to my testimony. By the Grace of God, 2015 (which is such a wonderful year) came with the strength, willingness, preparedness and obedience to finally downsize my wardrobe. I have been able to look past the ‘beauty’ of the dress, the GOOD deals I got them for, how good I look and feel in them, and all the many excuses! If you know me, you know very well that I have always been #teamLetItBeALittleAboveTheKnee and #teamImSkinnySoItDoesntLookBad. I am currently having to figure out how to be stylish with some jeans, a countable number of shirts and like  7 dresses if not less. And I will tell you for a fact, that I AM LOVING IT! I am not complaining at ALL! (I would confess and say that there is this ONE DRESS my mother got me (which is okay when I stand but not so okay when I sit,LoL) that I am currently finding difficult to part with! A lot of dresses she has gotten me have been put away and I don’t know how she is going to feel about that when she finds out.) She does know, however, that my outlook on dressing has changed. I know a lot of people who know me are wondering what I am talking about because (like I said) my clothes are literally ‘not that serious’. LoL
NB: On this note, if you happen to be a size 2 and SHORTER than me, you can come over and raid my closet! *tears*
Now, the in-betweens:
You know how it’s so easy to call out the girl who might as well walk around naked because she’s wearing this shirt with all her boobs popping out, or her shorts right under her butt, or her tights literally being her thighs painted black or whatever the color of the tights would be. Passing comments like ‘what was she thinking walking out of her house looking like that?’, ‘OMG!’,’Like WHAT IS SHE WEARING??’ That was (and still is) me! There have been times when Bob and I would be together and I would comment and he would just go ‘mm-hmm’. Now I look back and I know that I was the pot calling the kettle black. It’s so easy to call people out on the so-called ‘extremes.’
Why is my semi-cropped-only-revealing-just-a-little-bit-of-my-somach-and-that’s-even-when-I-lift-my-hands-up-I-mean-cropped-flowy-tops-are-needed-for-this-hot-ghanaian-summertime-weather blouse okay and this other girl who is also wearing her hot pants for the same weather excuse, so trashy? I have come to learn that just as God wants us either hot or cold, no lukewarm children, there are NO in-betweens when it comes to decency. Either you are, or you’re not. And that’s it.

After 3 weeks of officially being a Unit, we were separated for 3 (GOOD,LONG!!!!) months and then some because I had to travel. You know how us ladies be during summertime? You feel like the streets are the beach. I remember how my sister and I would purposely go out shopping to get good deals on some shorts and summer dresses and stuff. He would comment on photos I’d send him saying really nice things.

Writing this makes me laugh so hard because now I realize he actually did comment on how beautiful I am to him and NOT on the outfits when he wasn’t happy with them. And then a day or sometimes even  a few hours after (depending on how much he couldn’t hold it in) he would send this long message saying ‘I don’t want some guy out there looking at you and calling you saying you have a hot body’. I always used to think ‘That’s Od. You are just going overboard. it’s not even that serious. It’s just shorts!’ Then gradually,’ It’s just this hi-lo dress’, ‘it’s just this slightly cropped top’, ‘it’s just this skirt’, ‘it’s supposed to be fitting’, ‘this is how its worn’ etc etc. I was buying into the world’s culture and thought so long as it didn’t show half of my thighs but just a little, or didn’t pump my boobs, it was alright.

I remember when I would wear a dress which I would think is okay, you know, fit for the Hot! weather in Ghana and he would playfully keep pulling it down and point at the ‘little’ flesh showing and say ‘what is this? eh? what is this?’ LoL! And then we graduated to ‘You looked so beautiful today P, when you have time let’s talk about that blouse/dress you wore okay?’ (I am dying laughing here!)
There was this this time when I wanted to take a kick-boxing class with my friend. She was having so much fun with it and so recommended it to me. Here I was excited about kick boxing because I am all about eating healthy and staying athletic. I told him how my friend said all I needed were gym tights and a sports bra. If you’ve been following, you would have concluded by now that, that sports bra requirement messed up the whole situation. ‘I am not comfortable with you wearing a sports bra and tights and showing your abs off to a male trainer. So no, I am not so excited about it.’ Umm, hello Donald Downer!I knew his points were so valid, but I guess I just wasn’t used to someone calling me out on it when I was out there feeling so funky. He would NOT back down. There were days when I was just like…..WHAT DOES THIS GUY WANT FROM ME??? UGH!!!Women, we sometimes want to win with emotions (and we easily do……well sometimes :/). There were days when I cried and said ‘nothing I do is ever good to you. You are always saying negative things to me.You don’t like me.’SERIOUSLY, WHAT DID THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING???? That was so false! He meant absolutely well! But I would rather do all that than just be better and do what’s right. And I knew I had that conviction. Yielding to it was the problem. I was still at ‘….excuse me, have you seen all those other girls who wear this and that?’  Well those girls aren’t his, I am!Of course he doesn’t want me in sacs! He would never want that! If anybody on this earth is interested in me looking GOOD, and HOT and all those nice and lovely words, that would be my Boyfriend. But GOOD and HOT redefined, of course! You can look HOT and still be decent. You don’t have to show it for the world to know you have a hot body, NO!  And I hate that something I decide to not pay careful attention to is a prospective object of lust to someone out there.

“Be very careful, then, how you live–not as unwise but as wise,” – Ephesians 5:15 

I am in no way saying, if your Boyfriend is not commenting on your clothing, he is not the right person for you. I have no idea what goes into anybody’s relationship. What I AM saying, categorically, is that, whoever God places in your life, especially the one person that God puts in your life as a husband or wife is meant to fulfill a purpose. Husbands are to ‘sanctify their wives, nourish and cherish them’ that he will present her ‘without spot or wrinkle or any such thing’ unto the Lord. We are at a certain stage in our lives before God brings us our Help Meet. He(She) is meant elevate us to a certain level that God desires for us to be. So if your friends, or most importantly your Boyfriend, to whom you would one day be married, isn’t doing that(and YOU are okay giving him something to feast his eyes on), then I guess a lot more prayer and consideration is required. You are not called by God into the life of a man to allow them to ‘feast their eyes’ or urge them to fantasize about what they will do in future. ‘To the pure, all things are pure’ does not apply to me assuming a little flesh shown to the man I am not married to (not to talk about the other brothers in the church) does no harm because they have pure thoughts.

I don’t care about the ones who would still think ridiculous things if I wore a sac. They are not saved and that is therefore another topic.

I am concerned  about not slipping into the ‘excuse making team’, about not succumbing to the culture of this world and ignoring the voice of God. I am thankful to have someone with a genuine heart who challenges me not to do so. I’m thankful for the journey and how I can look back and laugh at myself! I had to pause this post and literally laugh out loud and praise Jesus so many times. I called my Boyfriend at a point telling him how funny this post is to me. He hasn’t read it yet though.I wonder what his comments will be. I’m thankful for maturity in God. I’m extremely thankful for Grace;Grace to grow past some cultivated habits. The excellent Grace to desire solid food spiritually and not milk all the time. That’s the whole point of this Christian walk anyway.

 

Always, Only for my King!

-Nana xx.

2 comments On Redefined

  • LOL! This post certainly made me smile and laugh so much. I love your posts because I can totally relate and I always learn something new! Praise God for such a godly boyfriend! My boyfriend often corrects me often on certain habits and I used to say, “you can’t tell me what to do”, “you’re not my father”, ” I’m not that bad” yada yada until I learned that God intends for Him to lead me and it starts now in courtship and goes on to marriage. Thank God for opening my eyes!
    “I’m thankful for maturity in God. I’m extremely thankful for Grace;Grace to grow past some cultivated habits.” I love this!! Isn’t it incredibly awesome how patient God is?! Waiting for us to be convicted and learn and change and then you look back at old habits and and think, “wow what was I thinking?” God is soooo good! Keep being passionate for Him and infecting others with that passion.
    P.S. Your wall looks great 🙂

    Love,
    Ewura Adjoa.

    • I know, Ewura Adjoa!What a Courteous Christ! That He isn’t moved by our actions but rather wants to heal our mindsets completely is such an amazing, amazing demonstration of His Love! Thank God for Grace to fight the flesh. Even more Grace to avoid slowing down the building process and what He wants to do with us because of the corrupted mindsets the world has to offer. Thank you for your comment! You’re amazing! God bless you!

      P.S. Thank you!! I want to do more! But I also want to save that money and do that in my marital home. Laugh out loud!
      Love always,
      Nana.

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