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“When God gives you a message, His first focus is you.”

 I haven’t blogged in a while (I know :(). I have been in a refining process and I have loved every moment of it. I am really excited to be finally sharing on what The Lord has been teaching me about….. Obedience, my theme for the year.

I am beyond grateful to be learning obedience in the most practical of ways. It’s extremely exciting how God knows us and how He can delicately reach out to us, when we let Him (and even when we don’t.)  I don’t think I would have been a better student if He had used any other setting.

My Boyfriend and I (we’re so much better now by the way lol ), we’re literally the most humorous situation that I know. No two people on this planet make mistakes like we do, and no one gets the other mad like we do( you should see two extremely emotional people bickering! Such suckers at throwing words at each other only to apologize two seconds later.)

I’ll use my situation since I can tell my story best. There was a time when he gave me a going away present; made the gift box from scratch and everything better than store bought 🙂 I carried it in my purse for weeks and the box got ripped. He saw the box once and was disappointed, so he started asking me about it. lol. You know, “where did you keep it?”,”where is it now?” etc. etc.  I saw the look of disappointment in his eyes because he put so much heart and work into it. Now, here I am, feeling terrible and genuinely sorry and disappointed in myself, YET!  every human egotistical attitude in me screaming ‘it’s just a box, big deal?’  I could hear voices in my head urging me to get all defensive. You know? ‘at least I kept the box. Plus it can be fixed. It is not that serious.’ Missing the whole point, that this is something that is important to him and I have to respect how he feels about the fact that I couldn’t take good care of it. All those negative voices point at one thing: control issues.

“We even fight to capture every thought until it acknowledges the authority of Christ.” 2 Cor. 10:5 (J.B Phillips version)

I’m not talking about the kind of control where you always raise your voice, or have the final say. That’s too obvious for me to talk about. But we tend to sometimes, consciously or unconsciously, manipulate situations with our emotions.  Like if I know that my Boyfriend hates to see me cry, if something happens and I’m in the wrong, just by crying, I know my part is settled. Women, especially, are very much likely to major in the emotional side of things than the will.

“God has given to all of us will and emotion.” The question is, which of these do you allow to take control of your life?

There’s this little cartoon- ish thing I do where, I have little conversations with myself. Though it’s really the Spirit of God speaking to me, I like to term it as ‘little conversations with myself’ because it’s just like how it happens in cartoons. lol. So the good girl says ‘you have to apologize and make it a point to be better not just for him, but most importantly for GOD!’ I have to strive to be what makes him happy everyday, I have to treasure him, knowing fully well that he is my irreplaceable gift from God.

“Love means a Cross……

The Cross enters the moment you recognize a relationship as a gift. The One who gives it may withdraw it at any time, and knowing this, you give thanks in the receiving. Desiring above all else to do the will of God, you offer back to Him this greatest of all earthly gifts as an oblation, lifted up in worship and praise, with faith that in offering it will be transformed for the good of others”

……. and I’ll stick with these words of Elisabeth Elliot till I can find my own.

I’m a lover of Elisabeth Elliot, her books, her words of wisdom! She’s like the wise Grandma I never had! I just happen to love these women of old so much; Elisabeth Elliot, Amy Carmichael, Kathryn Kuhlman; such amazing and dedicated students of scripture and they put it out so plainly and so real. In her book, “Let me be a woman” (which I believe every woman should read by the way) she goes on to say that, “Hear the call of God to be a woman. Obey that call”

My role as a Girlfriend and future wife IS and forever WILL BE a call upon my life.

“Each of us must give account, not of his neighbor, but of himself to God.”

 I cannot and I refuse to master every situation. Sometimes, I’m wrong and being defensive is not an option. Making excuses never helped. Fighting God to have your way is nothing but a recipe for disaster. Because truth is, our way is such a messy. dead. end. We can all testify to that, I believe.

We have to be INTENTIONAL about crushing our ego, and choosing humility and submission. We have to be intentional about choosing obedience to God and laying down our right to self. So that if 490 times you’re reminded about how someone hurt you, how much you ‘need’ to prove that you have a point, how much you need to save your face and put up your defenses ‘after all ….. ‘, you know that you have that God-given power to speak to that emotional spirit creeping in and say to yourself “I choose to let it go”, “I choose to do what glorifies the One who called me”, “I choose the Highway”. Nobody said it’s so easy, but it is definitely worth what it takes….and that’s how obedience comes in. 490 times, the bad girl voice will ‘preach’ about how you can’t be the fool all the time, about how this time around the other party will have to be saying the sorry, how ‘just this one time I did something wrong you’re going to ‘judge’ me? Let’s talk about the last time YOU did this and that to me’ (when truthfully there’s absolutely no judgement going on here. LOL)

The life of Love involves sacrifice. It involves choosing obedience and laying down your right to vindication. Corrie ten Boom says; “When God casts our sins into the depths of the sea, He puts up a sign that says ‘no fishing’.” and that’s how we ought to be. No more “let’s talk about the last time you did this and that but I forgave you and now you’re holding this against me?”  No fishing!

We have to be intentional about yielding to the ONE time the good girl voice asks you, “what glorifies Jesus?” And if there is no desire to yield to that still small  voice, then the truth of the matter is that,  “the spirit of Godly obedience is not in us; our wills have not been unconditionally turned over to the Master, as long as we determine our own action by what others do.”

It is such a shame on my part and on his, if I(or he) disobediently seek to let my emotions take control of every situation. I have a big problem if I’d rather get emotional than apologize. That’s a nasty little habit.

“If we let our obedience be contingent upon the another’s, there is a standoff”

In Ephesians 5:22-33, which admonishes husbands to love their wives unconditionally and wives to submit to their husbands unconditionally, “the command to husbands is the business of husbands. The command to wives is the business of wives. Let each “mind his own”–direct his attention to the thing required of him (obedience)–and harmony will be the result.” Your business in glorifying God does not include reminding Him of how many times the other has erred.

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behaviour from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.(Eph. 5:1-2) The Message Version. *and may I please add that no other version does justice to this verse for me than The Message*)

And in embracing this knowledge, you enjoy obedience to that call of God upon your life; to be a woman, to be a man. And not once would you say to yourself or to any other, ‘If I were a guy, I would……’ Because you wouldn’t want any other opportunity to want things differently. You are so focused on “running YOUR great race, and finishing YOUR course” and not keeping scores.

That knowledge of Godly obedience awakens a whole new level of Love and a desire for tenderness in us than we could ever think possible.(I sure do testify to that)

“When obedience to God contradicts what I think will give me pleasure, let me ask myself if I love Him”

….. and to my Dearest, most precious Gift, Bobs, (you guys can stop reading here, I believe. LOL)thank you for giving me more than enough reason to hear and obey that call of God to be a woman. Cheers to keeping our love so young and so new forever! I am so very much grateful to be loving YOU! You’re my Bestfriend before anything else.

God Bless You!

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