“God will break you to position you;
He’ll break you to promote you
Break you to put you in your right place
But when He breaks you, He doesn’t hurt you
When He breaks you, He doesn’t destroy you
He does it with ….GRACE”
This is a picture of me. #obvs. A lot of the time, you would find me laughing. And when I am not laughing, I am crying. It’s just always one of the two.
When you look at this photo, you see a girl smiling; what you don’t see is:
A girl who lived a masked reality of life, and then saw life take a 360 so suddenly! A girl who’s been sweetly, gracefully, broken, till she wholly surrendered-and nothing could have ever prepared me for it
A girl who has -once upon a time- had no idea where to sit her bags, let alone lay her head. Kicked out by the very people who offered to let her in “for as long as she wanted”. On a cold night in September. In a foreign land.
A girl who has lived, AND survived on $20 per week. For grocery PLUS household items.
A girl who has been falsely accused of things she had NO idea about, by those closest to her.
A girl, who -at a point- had no idea where the glass of water, let alone next meal was going to come from.
A girl who, when finally was able to secure a place to call home, shivered through nights, as she slept on the floor in a 40degree F weather.
A girl who saw every sense of security/comfort she thought she had, fall through the cracks… or should I say give up on her … There is so so so much more…
But you’re ALSO looking at a girl who is a true and living testament of God’s Faithfulness, and what that means.
A girl whose God came through for her, and fed her good food, while providing ALL her needs with $20 a week.
You’re looking at a girl whose God LITERALLY came through within hours of not having anywhere to lay her head with her bags from her home country-Ghana.
You’re looking at a girl whose God listened and answered her prayers when she felt like life was nothing; when she felt SO ALONE; and worst yet, she had been forgotten by everyone she thought she could rely on.
You’re looking at a girl, whose God has offered and maintained a companionship that no one, NO ONE has been – and will EVER be – able to give her.
You are looking at a girl, who was ‘sheltered’ for 24 years, and then ended up- in what felt like sudden FIRE and brimstones- having to figure out that life as she knew it, was not life.
You’re looking at a girl, who has discovered, encountered, and relied on THE ONE TRUE, FAITHFUL GOD COMPLETELY in one year, more than she EVER has in 8 years of being a Christian.
You are looking at a girl who, not only feels, but understands a true sense of WHOLENESS, by, AND ONLY BY THE GRACE and FAITHFULNESS of GOD.
It’s all so fresh in my memory. I remember it all. I documented it all. Every fear, every tear, every hurt, every deep sigh, when I thought I couldn’t do this thing called life again.
I don’t hold on to these memories because I want to harbor any kind of sorrow or bitterness. Au contraire, I have experienced a deep sense of love for one and for all in a way I can NEVER be able to put into words.
And if I am being honest, I NEEDED these challenging times. I needed this rude awakening from thinking and believing “someone” would always come through. I used to hold on to the words of men, AND THEN God would come through “when I needed Him.” I needed to feel alone, so that having no one would push me on my knees. Prayer no longer became an “allocated” time with God. Prayer became my life. When I had no one to talk to, and all these burdens were weighing me down, I found myself just talking, and calling out to Him. No matter where was, or what I was doing. I’d just start talking, believing He’s Omnipresent enough to hear me. I needed these hard times.
I remember- and CHOOSE to remember – so that I never lose my wonder of God’s Faithfulness. I remember – and CHOOSE to remember – so that when I say “trust no one but God”, you would understand that I do not say it from a place of bitterness and resentment as some do; but rather because I have seen how satisfying full dependence on God is.
But guess what? My story is nothing special. Hurt is hurt; discomfort is discomfort; and someone may arguably be going through worse.
I am writing this to encourage anyone who thinks they are alone, and life suddenly feels somewhere between a blur and a disaster. Here’s what is Extraordinary: You are NOT alone. You may FEEL alone, but you are not. And you will NEVER be. God is with you. Make Him your only; your PLAN A-Z, the next step you make, and the next breath you take. The only truth, is God. Everything else is temporary.
Someone said the only thing you need to praise God at all times, is a good memory. I believe that.
You’re still here, because your story needs to be told……And if you hear me pray over food as though The Lord saved me from a car accident, now you know why.